you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
