Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
