that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize