Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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