worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize