I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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