We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
