Whatcha textin bout Willis?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
