Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
