12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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