ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
