My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
