I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Couch. On fire.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
