the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
