Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
