Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
