never play flip cup with pint glasses
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
