what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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