Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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