okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
