And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
