the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
