Where are you?
In a non slutty way
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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