Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
sarcasm needs its own font
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
