hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
