just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
