i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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