his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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