Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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