I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
