3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
