Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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