dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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