whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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