do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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