I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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