the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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