Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
