dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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