I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Couch. On fire.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
