Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
