in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
