i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize