something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
