He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize