Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
