just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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