At least make sure they are 18
Why
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
