would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
