he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
