I was born with a shot glass in my hand
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
