i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
