last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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