He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
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