she was so not down for the gang bang
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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