I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
