it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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